Showin' Up Big
Life can be frustrating. At times, we feel as if we are stuck in the downs of life. Little things seem big and big things send us reeling.
My son Alex has a metabolic disease. It is a really long story about a relatively rare disease. The bottom line for Alex is that because of the disease, he has to eat a very strict diet (absolutely zero carbs and lots of fats and oils) to stay alive. Stability, balance, fine and gross motor skills, including walking are not his strong suite due to this disease – PDCD. He uses a walker, wheelchair or mobility scooter depending on the circumstance.
Illness wreaks havoc on the limited muscle strength he has often taking him from being at his strongest to unable to walk all from a bad sinus infection. Talk about the worst case of 2 steps forward, 1 step back. He fights to get strong, then BOOM! He gets sick with something common and he loses all or much of what he’s worked for. Talk about frustrating! Currently in the middle of a very down cycle, I see Alex struggle with the “I’m alone in this” and “this makes me so mad” feelings that find their way into his head.
When we face struggles in life, it is easy to wonder where God is. We begin to think that because we are struggling God isn’t there. We have expectations of what a present God would do and when it seems like those expectations aren’t being met – and we are still struggling – we start to assume that God isn’t there. We feel lonely, defeated or afraid.
I know Alex has felt down and sometimes angry. He typically can walk around the house without a walker and needs the walker or wheelchair only for longer distances. This last illness has taken everything. A few weeks ago, he couldn’t walk at all. Trying to get well, finish his last classes in his final semester of college and his energy challenges from his disease have put him in a place of complete dependence on others and at the bottom step of a very long climb to get back to full strength. He has every reason to be frustrated and want to give up. But he doesn’t, and I’ve watched God’s hand at work in keeping him strong through this and many other challenges.
How do we know God’s there? There’s faith of course. Fortunately for us, we have a God that knows us. He knows how restless and impatient we are. He knows our faith can waiver. He graces us with showing up BIG to help us grow that trust that allows us to really have faith that we are not alone - even in the most trying times- and to be able to recognize Him in His constant, gentle presence in our lives.
We went to a local gym to try a stretching machine I thought would help in a new way and give Alex some time to use the machines – hopefully a confidence building experience. The experiment didn’t start well. Sneezes and coughs 3 feet away from the machine sent my mom “sense” into warning mode. We worked quickly then escaped the germs, sanitizing along our way to the leg press machine. A young man about Alex’s age approached us. He greeted Alex and I learned they knew each other from college. Spencer and Alex would see each other in the gym there and sometimes workout together. The conversation continued with Alex sharing what was going on with him and his workout plan. His friend suggested they go to the bike together and that he would help him. Then bomb number one….Spencer said,”I am a physical therapist”.
I’ve become Alex’s personal trainer until we could see the doctor and get a PT script. Here in this gym, where Alex never goes, a physical therapist that he knows shows up when we need him most. At the bikes, Spencer worked with him and told us about a therapist he knows that would be perfect fit for Alex. He shared advice about the need for cardio exercise to support neuro-muscular improvement and gave us the perfect exercise to start at home to work on his gait.
The man who was sitting 2 bikes away who was barely noticeable to us as we listened to Spencer’s advice dropped bomb number two. Startled by his voice, we heard him say, “Alex (clearly we had be noticeable to him) listen to this young man. He knows what he’s talking about… and stick with it. Consistency is the most important thing. I was in a wheelchair 4 years ago. I’d fall at home and have to wait for my wife to get home to help me up. I found the right therapist. I kept at it. I’m here today walking well. I had neuro injuries.”
Alex and my eyes met as we pulled our jaws up. I knew Alex saw himself as the man described his falling and dependence on others. I’d been misty while listening to Spencer. The lump in my throat gave me the courage to say something. I spoke words of God’s hand clearly at work in this day and both gentlemen shared their own beliefs in God’s power. They encouraged Alex. They provided so much that we needed in those 45 minutes together. Alex’s life was positively impacted through those men who God worked through on that afternoon- Spencer who never comes to the gym at that time of day, and the man, Augie, who picked the bike two down from us from 15 other different options available to him (and by the way, Alex has never been there before).
God shows up. It isn’t necessarily in the ways we want. It might not be through complete healing or the elimination of a trial or challenge in your life. God makes His presence known through the wisdom of friends to help you see a different perspective. Through the hug or kind word that reminds you that you are loved. Maybe you see something sweet or precious or funny that warms your heart giving you a moment of calm in the midst of a storm. Sometimes God shows up as gently as a light breeze on your face or BIG in a gym placing the person you need right smack next to you on a recumbent stationary bike. Watch. Allow yourself to see Him next to you holding your hand through all the steps of your life….and be ready to be a messenger to someone else when God decides to use you.
